Great way starting a New Year!

I can't be what anybody needs.

The thought came to her when she awoke: she was ready to return home. And home was in New York City. Only a few months ago, it was a city filled with pain and memories that she believed were best left behind. It was better to close herself off to everyone, the people left who she still deeply cared for and didn't want to hurt. In Chicago, Dylan, Taffy, other Belles, they had sketchy ideas of what she had been doing in NYC, had heard of her connections with Nathan Petrelli's office (as well as heard a bit of the scandal she caused with an unceremoniously firing, something which she herself didn't even know the full on the record details about, but didn't let on with anyone; they respected her deepest wishes and spoke nothing about it), and welcomed her back. No one pressed her about anything. In some ways, it was like she had never left. Nearly everything she had constructed for herself in NYC in her most recent stay was gone, except for a few people. Except for him. The one who, even with the most dire of circumstances, never left her. She could have become complacent with this relationship, but she never did. In fact, she still marveled at it.

And it was no surprise to her that he was the first person to respond to a bulletin she posted online about her sudden decision to return. Just like Dylan and her friends in Chicago, he sounded like he would take her back. That was the nature of the relationship she had with Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin: years could pass and they would come back to one another as if a day hadn't past since they had last seen one another. She had seen it before. The years had changed both of them, but he was still recognizably Piotr: the gentle man, the painter, in truth, the kindest man she had ever met. They had each cut each other very deeply throughout the years they had known each other, but those cuts did not sever their relationship. And, if anything, those injuries only strengthened their resolve.

She took the first flight she could out of O'Hare, taking what small amount of possessions she had originally brought with her from New York. She had made this flight many times before and all of those times she had something she was working on, either work, homework. There was always something to keep her mind occupied, but not this time. Her anxiousness filled her with energy, leaving her constantly surveying her environment. A good chuck of time she even talked off the ear of the woman seating next to her. And then they were landing and she did all in her power to leave the woman and practically fly out of the airport, thanking the fact that she was able to cram all of her things into a carry-on.

Twenty minutes after landing and she was taking the elevator to Piotr's floor. She counted the doors until she came to his. For a moment, she stood there, just looking at the number on the door. This is Piotr, she reminded herself. But even so, the nerves flared up. With those nerves, the threaten of an onslaught of questions that would cause her to be overwhelmed. She bit her inner cheek. "I'm being silly," she mumbled. Taking another breath, she knocked against the door.

The last time was too early and I'm sorry about that. But I just wanted to say that I'm back. If I disappear again, please feel free to come to my apartment and beat the stuffings out of me. I'm serious. I like stuff like that. ;) It'll get me mad, and when I'm mad I have to feel and have to deal.

With being back in NY, I'm in need of a job and that's where you guys come in. I have no idea what I want to do, except help people. I was going to work for Cassandra James, but the fact that I skipped out without a word does not look good in my favor (and if you're reading this, Cassandra, I'm sincerely sorry that I did that. And I owe you more than that, which I will attend to soon. I wasn't ready to take on such lofty things....Not before I reached a particular plateau.) If you know anybody who is hiring who might like having someone who has experience with being the personal assistant to a formally up-and-coming politician, a dancer, a bartender, and a superhero please drop my name. I'd greatly appreciate it. :D

Right. So, that month absence I needed? Well, little over a month, but more or less. It helped immensely with me getting things set in order. Mental things. Those buggers that would have kept tripping me in life if I hadn't dealt with them. So, yeah. I'm back. Time to figure out what the heck I missed. Anybody up to anything fun without me? *looks at the likely suspect, notably Rogue and Piotr*

I haven't posted in a while, and I wanted to apologise for that. Kitty's in a few plays right now...but I just don't have the mind for her right now. Ever since her break up with Nathan, I haven't been able to capture her right. She went through some major emotional stress (that she had to pass on to me! *groans*) and now she's just...not quite herself. I don't have the mind nor the time to worry about her because my own life is facing some upheavel at the moment. I'm supposed to start a new job in a couple of weeks and I have to get used to the new schedule with my other job.

The scenes Kitty is in are important to me, but I gotta put them on hold for now. I'd like to get back to them a little later. Not sure when, though. :(

I'm very sorry again.

As Cassandra and she agreed, she arrived at the Phoenix Center, a few minutes early even. It was in her nature to be early and always on time. Besides how it made a good impression, it was just courteous.

This was going to be a good place for her, she believed. It would hopefully help her as much as her work would help other people. She was damaged, broken really, and had been for a long time. It was just, she didn't realise it. It never occurred to her that this was her state of being until she was smacked in the face with it and the bloody monster consumed her life and everybody in it. She was vulnerable now, open to any attack, but, at the same time, she felt more whole, and more sure of herself, than she had in a very long time.

Huh...okay. That's not really a fortune, though. Touching on Red Riding Hood, perhaps? Okay. I got nothing.

My Fortune Cookie told me: BAD WOLF. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Hmm. This is the first time I've taken the ColourQuiz and the results completely parallel what's going on in my life. It's another one of those signs that keep popping up that not only reaffirms the situation I'm in, but says the outcome was the right one. A week ago, that would have crushed me. I'm still sad about it, but, at the same time, I like my life better now than I did a week ago. Things are on a brighter side for me.

Katherine took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Wants to establish herself and make an impact desp..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

You Are 67% Grown Up, 33% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

It's been ages since I've had one of these things. Actually, the very last time is when I saw episodes of Firefly last. So, who's up for it? Who's interested in this weekend being consumed by all good things Browncoat and Joss? :D I'm looking a lot at you, justalilcontact.

Back at home and what am I doing? Back to memes.

Haiku2 for enduring_pryde
found was hardly what i will always have hope no matter who i lose
@ aboutmylife.netadvogato.orgblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.cominsanejournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com
Created by Grahame

Today has just been a day of realisations for me.

I want to make it official now: I'm coming back to New York City. Maybe I'll be seeing some of you soon. :)

I realised he was never mine

Have some questions for me? I hope I can give you some answers. The lighter, the better, please.

After hitting 'send', she glanced at the silenced television to see Nathan's picture. She reached for the remote and turned on the volume.

"Oh for fuck sake," she murmured after the report was over and pressed her palms into her eyes. It really couldn't stop from getting worse.

Letting out a deep breath, she reached for her phone and called Peter.

To: Cassandra (xxx@xxx.xxx)
From: Katherine Anna Pryde (katherine.anna.pryde@gmail.com)

Subject: Phoenix Center


Dear Cassandra:

I don't know what you know, or may not know by now, but I expect you to know something. This is weird. And I don't want to put you in the middle of anything like I seem to be doing with everybody else...because, well, my circle of friends and family and acquaintances that I regularly keep up with is a rather small one. But I'm thinking about my future, about moving on. About what I do now that I've lost nearly every thing. And then I thought about your foundation. I have great respect for you and your work. When I go back to work again, I want to work for someone whose cause I believe in full-heartedly. I wouldn't feel right with myself if I did not.

If you can, I would like you to think of me if and when any positions become available within your center.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Katherine Anna Pryde

the worst is yet to come.

Whoa. Just...OMG. Whoa. I know I've been busy, but I thought I would have heard some mention of this.

It seems Jonathan Ross likes Neil Gaiman a heck of a lot more than anybody thought!

Snogging at Comic Con

Wow. Everybody's in this Neil comm I'm in is talking about it. It's kind of cute, actually.